Ending marriage discrimination: America in a civil rights moment.

The Library of America's two-volume anthology, Reporting Civil Rights, collected the journalism of the 1940's, '50's, '60's, and '70's, which together described what the day-to-day struggles of those years felt and looked like before those living through that moment knew how it was going to turn out.

Exhilarating, empowering, appalling, and scary. That's what a civil rights moment feels like when you are living through it--when it is uncertain and not yet wrapped in mythology or the inevitability of triumph.

In 2004, our nation celebrated the 50th anniversary of Brown v. Board of Education, the landmark court decision that declared "separate but equal" to be inherently unequal and mandated an end to segregation. But what followed Brown was not the sincere (or even insincere) embrace it gets today. In the words of the time, what followed Brown included legislators in a swath of states declaring "massive resistance;" billboards decrying "Impeach Earl Warren," the then-Chief Justice who wrote the decision; and members of Congress signing resolutions denouncing "activist judges." In fact, pretty much everything we think of today as the civil rights movement--the marches, Freedom Rides, organizing summers, engagement, hard work, violence, legislation--all happened after Brown.

Today, America is again in a civil rights moment, as same-sex couples, their loved ones, and non-gay allies struggle to end discrimination in marriage. A robust debate and countless conversations are helping our nation (in Lincoln's words) "think anew" about how we are treating a group of families and fellow citizens among us. Today it is Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender (LGBT) individuals and same-sex couples who are contesting second-class citizenship, seeking inclusion and equality, and fighting for our country. It is scary as well as thrilling to see the changes and feel the movement.

MARRIAGE--NOT "GAY-MARRIAGE"

It is important for us all to understand that this movement is about marriage, not "gay-marriage." "Gay marriage" is a short-hand term that opponents use to make gay people's families seem different or lesser. The truth is we're working for an end to discrimination in marriage itself. We're working for the same rules and responsibilities, the same protections, the same dignity, the same commitment, and the same opportunity to declare our love for another person with whom we are building a life. Same-sex couples want the equal choice--the freedom to marry--not two lines at the clerk's office yet again for separate and unequal treatment.

In a democracy founded upon the principles of fairness, there is no justice in being barred from marriage, a legal institution regulated by the government through the issuance of marriage licenses. Freedom of religion ensures that each religion can decide for itself whether or not to marry any particular couple, but no religion should dictate to the government who gets a marriage license. If gay people are considered equal citizens when it comes to paying taxes and obeying laws, then we should have access to the same marital rights held by other citizens.

BENEFITS OF MARRIAGE

Most couples marry for love and the desire to reinforce the personal commitment they have made to each other. Most also want the public statement of commitment and support that marriage offers. The intangible benefits that marriage offers include clarity, security, structure, dignity, spiritual significance, and an expectation of permanence, dedication, and stability. Like most non-gay couples, most same-sex couples share these aspirations and needs.

In addition, according to a 2004 report from the U.S. General Accounting Office, there are at least 1,138 tangible benefits, protections, rights, and responsibilities that marriage brings couples and their kids--and that's just at the federal level. Add in state and local law, and the policies of businesses, employers, universities, and other institutions, and it is clear that the denial of marriage to couples and their kids makes a substantial impact on every area of life, from raising kids, building a life together, and caring for one another, to retirement, death, and inheritance. Most of these cannot be secured by private agreement or through lawyers.

Here are just some of the ways in which government's denying the freedom to marry punishes couples and families by depriving them of critical tangible as well as intangible protections and responsibilities in virtually every area of life.

Death: If a couple is not married and one partner dies, the other partner is not entitled to …