Sexual compatibility and sexual functioning in intimate relationships.

ABSTRACT: Sexual compatibility is an important element shaping the sexual functioning of an intimate relationship. In this study we expected that levels of sexual compatibility between partners would be related to differential levels of sexual functioning in intimate relationships, but that this relation might differ for men and women. Fifty-eight heterosexual couples responded to self-report measures of sexual functioning (satisfaction, depression, and anxiety), and perceived sexual compatibility. The results indicate that the relationship between an individual's perception of their compatibility with their partner and sexual depression and anxiety was stronger for women than men. In addition, the partner's perception of compatibility predicted sexual depression and anxiety for men but not women. For both men and women, an individual's perception and their partner's perception of compatibility were predictive of sexual satisfaction. This pattern of association between sexual compatibility and sexual functioning has implications for couples presenting with sexual concerns in therapy.

Key words: Sexual compatibility Sexual satisfaction Sexual depression Sexual anxiety Gender differences

INTRODUCTION

Sexual compatibility is an important element shaping the sexual functioning experienced in an intimate relationship. Indeed, research has found that compatibility is significantly related to sexual satisfaction (Smith, Becket, Byrne, & Przybyla, 1993), and a desire for sexual activity (Apt, Hurlbert, Sarmiento, & Hurlbert, 1996a; Hurlbert, Apt, & Rombough, 1996). However, it has been suggested that gender differences may exist in perceptions of sexual compatibility (Apt et al., 1996a; Hurlbert et al., 1996), and in the factors that affect what are considered satisfactory sexual experiences (Bridges, Lease, & Ellison, 2004). Indeed, women have been found to be more likely than men to report emotional and relational qualities as the rewarding aspect of positive sexual functioning (Lawrance & Byers, 1995), and hence these factors may play a greater role in women's sexual functioning than the quality of the sexual interaction per se (Apt, Hurlbert, Pierce, & White, 1996b). In contrast, men are more likely to place an emphasis on sexual behaviour as a determinant of their sexual satisfaction (Marlin, 1993), raising the possibility that their perceptions of sexual compatibility (i.e., meeting sexual needs) may play a critical role in the sexual functioning reported by men.

Sexual compatibility is defined as similarities in the emotional, cognitive and behavioural components of a sexual relationship (Apt et al., 1996a). The emotional component includes feeling sexually understood by a partner or sexually close whereas the cognitive aspect reflects sexual beliefs, desires and attitudes. Sexual compatibility has also been referred to in terms of sexual agreement (Purnine & Carey, 1997), which involves a couple's understanding of one another' s sexual preferences, and the degree of concordance in those preferences. It is important to note that compatibility is a reflection of the extent to which partners perceive themselves to share sexual needs, beliefs and preferences, but these perceptions, or lack thereof, do not necessarily translate into individuals' evaluations of the sexual functioning of the relationship.

Sexual functioning is a multidimensional construct, although much of the research singularly defines it in terms of the levels of sexual satisfaction reported by intimate partners. Sexual satisfaction is the affective response that arises from an individual's evaluations of his or her sexual relationship, including perceptions that one's sexual needs are being met, fulfilling one's own and the partner's sexual expectations, and deriving an overall positive evaluation of the sexual relationship (Hurlbert & Apt, 1994; Lawrance & Byers, 1995). Not surprisingly, sexual satisfaction has been found to be positively associated with perceived sexual compatibility (Smith et al., 1993) and sexual agreement (Purnine & Carey, 1997, 1999).

Less attention has been paid to the factors that might influence other dimensions reflecting sexual functioning, including sexual depression and anxiety. Sexual depression involves feeling distressed or disappointed about the quality of one's sex life, or disheartened about a lack of sexual relations with the intimate partner (Thurman & Silver, 1997). Sexual depression is not equivalent to a lack of sexual satisfaction; for example, under some conditions (e.g., new parents, during times of illness), one may be sexually unsatisfied but not sexually depressed. A third component of sexual functioning is sexual anxiety, which entails feelings of worry, uneasiness or nervousness related to sexual behaviour, and is reflected in feelings of discomfort or tension about one's sexual life (Snell, Fisher, & Waiters, 1993). Bearing in mind that a lack of compatibility has been linked to sexual difficulties (Carey & Purnine, 1997; Rosen & Leiblum, 1988), and that general depression (Nicolosi, Moreira, Villa, & Glasser, 2004) and anxiety (Van Minnen & Kampman, 2000) have been linked to decreases in sexual functioning, it is reasonable to believe that reductions in sexual compatibility ought to be associated with greater sexual depression and anxiety.

The relations between perceptions of sexual compatibility and greater sexual satisfaction along with lower sexual depression and anxiety are not surprising. However, the importance of sexual compatibility to the sexual functioning of men versus women may differ, although the nature of this difference likely depends on how sexual compatibility is defined. As noted earlier, among women, sexual satisfaction tends to relate positively to levels of …